When it comes to money, are you and your partner singing from the same song sheet? Financial harmony within a relationship is crucial to its long-term health. Money-related stress can lead to conflict and arguments that could strain couples amidst the myriad challenges inherent to building a life together. Establishing open and honest communication around money matters and working toward achieving financial compatibility can go a long way toward mitigating stress and fostering a strong partnership. Here are important areas to address to help ensure you and your loved one are in tune with each other when it comes to personal finances.
Financial goals and dreams. Start with what’s important to each of you in terms of your financial future. Do you hope to someday purchase a home, have a family, travel regularly or start a business? Discuss how important building wealth is to each of you and how you define what wealth means.
Lifestyle choices. What are your views on spending when it comes to things like dining out or the purchase of luxury and discretionary items? If one is frugal and the other more extravagant, how will you find a balance you both can live with comfortably?
Financial independence within the relationship. Will you maintain joint or separate accounts? Discuss how you’ll handle any income disparity — including the challenges and opportunities that arise when one partner earns significantly more than the other.
Become budget buddies. Creating a joint household budget can help foster teamwork and transparency. If you haven’t yet combined income and expenses but plan to, try working through a hypothetical monthly budget together.
Family financial planning. If the hope of having children is in the future — or if you’re blending families — how will you handle child care costs? Will both partners continue to work if a baby comes? Talk about how you’ll plan for your children’s college expenses.
Financial emergencies. Do each of you have a rainy day fund? How important do you feel that is in maintaining financial stability? How will you manage any unexpected expenses as a couple?
Investing together. What are your personal investment philosophies? Will you put a certain amount of money toward investing each month? Do you share the same level of risk tolerance? Talk about whether you want to work with a Financial Professional to manage your investments.
Avoid debt divisions. Debt can be a major source of relationship stress. Have an open, honest conversation about how much credit card and other debt each of you has and how that will be dealt with if finances are combined. Discuss strategies for handling both individual and collective debt to prevent it from becoming a wedge issue within the relationship.
Your golden years. Depending on your individual ages when you become a couple, retirement may be a near- or long-term goal. Discuss when you hope to retire and consider whether you want to retire at the same time — especially if there’s a significant age gap.
Dealing with money conflicts. Decide ahead of time how you’ll work to resolve disagreements about money. Will you seek professional advice to mediate and guide financial planning, whether that’s a Financial Professional and/or perhaps a couples therapist?
Staying in Harmony
While money isn't everything in life, being on the same page financially can significantly contribute to a happy, enduring relationship. Regular, open discussions about money can prevent many misunderstandings and conflicts, as can seeking help should problems arise. Even if you’re on the same page now, your situation will likely change over time. Schedule regular check-ins and periodically revisit financial goals and plans to adapt your plan accordingly. Financial compatibility is an ongoing process that contributes to a stronger, more resilient relationship. Like a well-rehearsed duet, staying in harmony with your partner's financial goals can keep your relationship in sync and moving to the same beat.